


Did You Look For Me, Sam?

by DefendTheUndefended



Series: Cat Winchester [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Baby, F/F, F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love Sam dont get me wrong, M/M, No Dynamic Castiel, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Dean, Omega Dean Winchester, Post-Purgatory Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Sam did not look for them!, Sequel, The reunion with Sam after Purgatory, another sequel will follow, but i was really annoyed with him over this like really badly, hurt but comfort will come in the sequel, sequel to Babylon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 06:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21049754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefendTheUndefended/pseuds/DefendTheUndefended
Summary: Sequel to Babylon.Sam meets up with Dean, Castiel, and the newest addition to their family. However, the reunion while amazing and unexpected, also goes in such a way that makes Sam feel so guilty about his mistakes.He can only hope he can make it up to Dean some how.





	Did You Look For Me, Sam?

Sam approached the cabin door, almost hesitantly. 

He knew there was a high chance of it actually being Dean in there, but at the same time he was half unsure if he wanted to find out. 

It didn't help that there was some small part of him that was calling to never open that door, never find out and just go back home to the beautiful omega he had met and spent the last year with and the dog he had half claimed as his own.

No. He refused to let that win. This was his brother who he had thought dead for a year. He had to see him. 

The cabin was eerily silent as he opened the door and he only got a step his foot into the place before he suddenly was tackled to the ground and had liquid dumped on his face and shoulders. “I’m not a demon!” He still couldn't see who was on top of him as he got another faceful of a slightly thicker liquid. “I’m not leviathan either!”

He was finally able to clear his eyes enough to look at who was straddling him. His eyes went wide, “Cas..” The angel nodded to him for a moment and Sam suddenly winced and snapped his eyes down to his wrist where Castiel had nicked him with a silver knife. “I’m not a shifter either Cas.” 

Cas finally stood off of him and before even saying another word dumped the mixture of salt water and borax onto himself. Nicking his own arm with the blade a moment later. 

Sam watched kind of confused at the angel’s adamancy of doing the tests. And watched as Cas put the blade and bottle down. “Sam..” 

He threw his arms around the angel for a moment before pulling away to hold him at an arm's distance. “Where’s Dean?”

Castiel seemed to hesitate for a long moment - leaving Sam more confused and worried than anything - before gesturing behind him. 

He spun around to see Dean standing behind him and before he knew it he found himself wrapped around his brother once again, after so long. “It’s good to see ya, Sammy.” Dean seemed to sag against him and he pushed back just as much. 

Sam pulled away and looked over Dean. Noting the haggard and exhausted look written over Dean’s face and body. “You too.” He glanced at Cas as the angel moved to stand somewhere behind Dean before his eyes automatically moved back to his brother. “You’re alive! Where were you two?”

Castiel answered as blunt as ever. “Purgatory.” 

Sam had to still for a moment to process that. “Like the monster Purgatory?” 

Dean nodded in response. “Yea, monster-land central.” 

“For the whole year? How did you end up there?” He knew his voice was stunned and startled but he thought he was justified in that. 

Dean nodded before he answered, “Guess standing too close to Dick when he exploded sent us there.” Sam felt a crash of guilt in his chest at the confirmation of Dean being there the entire year, and the confirmation of Dick Roman somehow being the cause. He went to ask more questions or change the subject, he wasn't sure, nor did he care to remember later on, when he was cut off by a shrill cry. 

Castiel glanced in the direction it came from and Dean sighed before disappearing through the door to one of the bedrooms. Sam couldn’t find himself able to move or even speak. Too shocked and startled to do much more besides staring after Dean- as he recognized the type of cry that reaches his ears, and as such was so out of place here. 

A moment later he heard Dean’s voice mumble and watched as Dean walked out, a tiny squirming bundle cradled in his arms. 

What. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off the bundle- baby. He glanced up at Dean’s face and could almost physically feel that gaze of love and care he was giving the baby… one he had seen in many cases… on a new parent’s face. 

He glanced at Castiel for some form of an answer to the million questions running in his head… only to pause at the look on Castiel’s face. The look of utter adoration and protectiveness. 

He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Don’t get him wrong he loved that Cas and his brother had finally… confessed.. his mind half went on a tangent wondering if they confessed to each other or just had a moment that ended with the baby before he could pull himself back on track, but at the same time, he was kind of annoyed or more along the lines of horrified. 

Not because the baby existed, but because while they were in Purgatory Dean was careless enough to get pregnant, which would then endanger himself greatly by being vulnerable while the baby grew, and then risking the baby’s life and very likely his own during the birth, and once the baby was finally born. 

All of that and more passed in his head in a matter of seconds while he stood in place frozen and staring at his brother who slowly walked towards him. Tuning back into reality in time to catch Dean’s words. “Guess we should introduce you to the other big event that happened while we were gone.” 

Dean stood close enough for Sam to be able to look down at the tiny form form swaddled in what he belatedly realized was Castiel’s trenchcoat. Despite the turmoil in his head he couldn’t help the feeling of almost melting. She was beautiful; a head full of Dean’s sandy blond hair and as she opened his eyes to glance around the room he spotted a very familiar shade of blue eyes. 

Dean spoke as he observed the baby, he noticed the tensing forms of both his brother and Cas when he raised a hand to push the edge of the blanket down a bit to see the baby. Dean seemed to push through his words. Tense but not afraid of Sam touching his child. “This is your niece, Catalina. Cat.” 

Sam looked back to Dean before looking back at Cat.. his neice.. wow- he was an uncle. “She’s beautiful, Dean.”

Dean hummed in response before subtly pulling away from his brother and sitting on the couch behind Cas who stood vigilant, in such a way that, Sam reluctantly noticed, he could watch both the closest windows and door to where Dean and the baby were. 

Sam spoke softly, trying not to disturb the now calm little girl in Dean’s arms. “How did.. you three get out of Purgatory?” 

Dean snorted as Castiel shifted, relaxing only a molecule’s worth as the angel answered. “Humans are not meant to be in purgatory. A portal opens there that leads to earth if one of us is are the realm.” 

Sam ran a hand down his face, “So like an escape hatch.” 

Dean nodded, leaning his head back against the couch. “Pretty much.” 

Cat gurgled at the sound of her Daddy’s voice and Castiel turned to look down at her. Prompting another question to the forefront of his mind. “So how did.. Cat happen?” 

Dean smirked and Sam almost regretted asking. Or at least wording it that way. “I thought I already gave you the birds and the bees talk.” 

Sam rolled his eyes not being able to suppress the fond smirk that crept up. “You know what I mean, jerk.” 

Dean snorted and look at him for a long couple seconds before tapping Cas on the thigh and practically forcing the angel to sit beside him before he gently handed over the baby to him. 

Sam couldn’t help but watch as Castiel seemed to turn to a marble for a moment before he seemed to shift like his body made room for her and would only be gentle and soft for her. A kind of protector that holds their charge with the lightest touch while the rest of their body was ready to protect them at the drop of a hat. Almost curled around their charge like one of the dragons from the fairy tale stories Sam had read as a child as they protected their treasure. 

Dean stood and walked behind Sam, who was sitting at the table, to the fridge and pulled out the only solitary bottle inside. “I was pregnant when I landed in purgatory.” Sam instantly felt guilty and regretful for even thinking that Dean would purposefully endanger himself and a baby in a place full of monsters. It's a different story if it was an accident or unplanned. “Didn’t even know, till a vamp mentioned it. So, I searched for Cas with a fairly civil vamp, who seemed to have a weird obsession with keeping me alive and when we found him we started heading for the portal.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow, incredulous and half nauseous at the thought of a vampire being close enough to his vulnerable brother that Dean could have been seriously hurt, if the vampire snapped for any reason. “A vampire?” 

Dean nodded as he handed the bottle to Cas who after a little guidance from Dean stuck the nipple into Cat’s mouth. “He was… a surprise. Helpful, and not really bloodthirsty at all. He was even upfront with what he wanted from me.”

Sam felt dread fill him. “And?” 

Dean got that look on his face that was the same he used when he knew he was going to say something Sam wouldn’t like. “He wanted a ride out of Purgatory. In exchange he’d protect me till we got to the portal.” 

Sam blinked. Choosing to keep his tone quiet and even. Not wanting to start a fight. “And you took it?” 

Dean nodded looking back to his brother and shrugging. “I needed all the help I could get. I couldn’t find Cas, I didn’t even know there was a portal out, I kept getting sick for a reason I didn’t know yet, and purgatory is 360 degree combat 24/7. I wasn’t going to turn down the possibility of extra eyes to watch my back or the information and guide to a portal out.” 

Sam had to nod and he reluctantly understood. It didn’t mean he had to like it, but this vamp did at least help his brother a bit. Dean looked back up at him after he glanced back at Cas and the baby before leaning against the couch next to them. “So, what about you? You know half your numbers are out of service? When we got back I tried calling them- calling you, left a ton of messages.”

Sam felt himself kinda freeze. He felt apprehensive about saying what he did while he thought Dean was dead. Yeah, he couldn’t have known Dean was still alive- but it still would feel like he was rubbing it in Dean’s face that while he was fighting for his life and the life of his daughter, Sam was living the nice life with a pretty omega. “Yea, I didn’t get the messages.. Because I ditched the phones..” He held up a hand after Dean opened his mouth a raised eyebrow and confused look on his face. “..I don’t.. hunt anymore.” He finished with a kind of sheepish shrug as he could see the almost anger, confusion, and the slow building dread in Dean’s expression and body language. 

“Yea right.” Dean tried to laugh it off like he was making a joke. Sam could see it in his brother’s expression. However, when Sam didn’t change his posture or expression, the half smirk on Dean’s face began to fall. “What? You quit?” 

Something in Dean’s voice made Cas look up to them from feeding Cat, watching Sam as he looked past Dean’s body standing at the end of the couch. Sam nodded, trying to explain his past reasoning that sounded very flimsy, even in his own mind, now. “You and Cas were gone, Bobby was dead. Crowley took Kevin and Meg who knows where-”

Dean cut him off, “So you just turn tail on the family business.” 

Sam was a little annoyed at that accusation. Of course that’s what Dean would accuse him of, he tried to keep the reunion lighthearted. Jokingly replying, “Nothing says family business like the whole family being dead.”

However, Dean fired back tight and angry and if Sam looked past his own anger he felt rising he could see the hurt and dread as well. He barely registered the movement Cas made to put a hand on Dean’s back as soon as Dean’s next words left his mouth. “I wasn’t dead Sam.”   
Sam felt his face loose the half joking look he had before to try and keep this from becoming a fight. “I was knee deep running and fighting, searching for Cas and trying to protect my kid,” Sam briefly registered the guilty look that flashed across Cas’ face before focusing on Dean once more as he continued, “and killing monster after monster- which is what I thought we do.”

“Yea, and I had thought that what we do is what got all of my family killed.” He fired back while trying to keep his voice low. Really not wanting to turn this into a fight right after getting Dean and Cas, and now Cat, back. The words seemed to make Dean pause and listen, though he still looked tense and confused. “No one was left, I was completely alone for the first time in my left and I didn’t know what to do.” Dean crossed his arms as he listened, Cas was very still behind him, holding Catalina to his chest and watching them- his face giving away nothing to what he thought. “So, I just fixed up the Impala and just.. drove.”

Dean nodded and Sam was relieved to see some understanding cross his face. Some of the emotional turmoil fading from his brother. Something seemed to cross Dean’s face- something eerily similar to dread. “After you looked for us right?”

Sam felt like his tongue turned to stone in his mouth and he found himself just staring at Dean, unable to answer. Dean’s face turned to that familiar- by now- disappointment and heartache and his voice sounded rougher than before as he asked that dreaded question. “Did You look for me, Sam?”

Sam couldn’t do more than look away. He saw Dean nod out of the corner of his eye as he turned his back to Sam. Slowly and gently prying Catalina from Castiel’s arms. She didn’t protest and Castiel’s unwavering gaze was heavy on the side of Sam’s head. Dean’s voice sounded and even felt rough and almost soft. “Good, that's.. Good. We always told each other not to look. Smart. Good for you.” Dean started walking towards the back room, staring down at the bundle in his arms, and if his voice wasn’t like it was and if he wasn’t tensely seemingly running away from the conversation Sam would almost be able to fool himself into believing Dean agreed with his decision. But he wasn’t an idiot. 

Dean paused in the middle of the pathway to the backroom, “But, I thought we usually ignored that.” Sam moved his gaze to the panels of floor below him. No longer wanting to see the tense and hurt lines on Dean’s back. “Cause we loved each other. But not this time right, Sammy.”

Sam knew words wouldn’t mean much here. “I’m sorry Dean- for all of it. I’m still the same guy though Dean.”

Dean seemed to let out a soft snort and shook his head a little. “Yea, guess so, but I’m not.” He ended the conversation by walking into the back room and closing the door behind him.

Sam sighed guilt and remorse filling him. He heard clothes ruffle and looked up to see Cas’ glare directed at him. He felt himself freeze and tense up, because never had the angel directed such an angry gaze at him, but he had seen before what happened to the ones who had that glare directed at them. “I can forgive you for trying to stop hunting, as can Dean, but I will not be as such for you abandoning Dean completely at the first chance you had. You may have been lost, but that doesn’t excuse your actions. You may not see it that way, and that may have not been your intent, but it will be how Dean sees it, and that I will not forgive. If you try to abandon him again like that I will make sure you pay for it. We have both made grievous mistakes towards Dean this past year that we regret. And for that we both have a lot to make up for.” 

At that Sam was still frozen in his seat full of regret, guilt, remorse, and desperation. Desperation to make it up to Dean somehow, his protector, his brother, his family, Dean didn’t deserve that pain and Sam also knew that Cas was more than correct. And as he watched Cas turn and go into the room Dean had retreated to, he could only hope.

Hope that he hadn’t ruined things between him and Dean forever.

Hope that he could somehow make up for the pain he had caused his brother.


End file.
